„I would like to do right this thing, but it isn‘t proper for me.“
„I would love to do it, but it doesn‘t sound responsible, I have to perform my duties first.“
„Who am I to judge?“
„Professionals know better, I am not the one in charge of making decisions.“
„They mean well.“ And also: „I have to be nice to people.“
Think for a while. What are these statements about?
In the age of apotheosis of the holy personal development, your answer can easily be like this: „I have such a low self-esteem.“ Your so-called super-ego would probably add you have such a low self-esteem because you are not trying hard enough and you are lazy and incompetent.
How many times have you heard you did something wrong, something insufficient? Maybe you managed to complete the task, but still it felt like a failure. Stop it. You need to stop it or it will kill you.
I interpret it differently.
All the statements above say one thing – the speaker handed her/his/its own power and sovereignty to someone else. Why?
Now think about this. You have to hurry up because there are deadlines and people waiting and calling and asking. You also have to hurry up because you have to cook the dinner for your kids or go shopping, walk your dog. And you also promised to call your parents and you forgot about it yesterday, so you really have to do it today in the evening. Do you really think just about Geraldine, the poor lady, with whom you spoke last week because she needed something? Like dozens of other people needed last week and hundreds of people needed last month and so on?
So what makes you believe so easily, that other people will make better decisions for you? Why do you think you are not the right person to judge your life and all the things you interact with? Why do you believe there is someone out there whose mission is just to make your life perfect? When you know how overwhlemed your own mind and schedule is?
Well, education makes you a believer and education of this kind also enslaves you. We are taught to think this way, even our success is still failure.
And right now we see how toxic this is. And right now we are also learning we have to take care of ourselves and people around, because there is noone else who would do it as well. If you and people around you won‘t behave responsibly, you all have higher risk of becoming ill. There is only you, noone else can make you wear a face mask properly.
We all should ask this important question:
„Why do I feel so crappy?“ „Why do I have such problems recognizing my worthiness?“ „Where did all my enthusiasm go?“
To live our human life fully, we need a homecoming of dignity, pride, grace, well-being, carefreeness, joy. And trust and belief. And courage. Lots of it. (Think courage tastes like chocolate and eat loads of it :))
You probably think what has this in common with animism, it is just psychology. I would say it is knowledge. And animism is included. Why?
Deep down in our bones, in our hearts, in our blood and soul, we fell we are complex beings. Modern civilization has brought the physical and mental component to the forefront, claiming all what doesn‘t fit as fictional or just subjective. The truth is, physical and mental component is just one part of our story, maybe rather tiny. Gods and spirits are not externalized psychic phenomena, they are autonomous entities, independent to some extent, because all what is is interdependent.
One of the effects of SARS-CoV-2 pandemics is people can experience how unsatisfactory the rational worldview actually is. And what consequences it has. For sure you need to be rational to some extent, but life is not an equation. Or better to say – even if life would be an equation, humans would not be able to live in it.
For this reason we need our ancestors. We need love and we need transcendence. Without our ancestors we have no continuity and without continuity we have no meaning. We need to know we are going home when we are dying and we need to remember we came home when we were born into this world.
And we have to know we are beloved children and beloved parents and greatparents, we are parts of one great whirlwind of souls experiencing various forms of existence.
To make this article more than just some word salad, I also have some excercise. You need you and some mirror. I suggest to do this practice in a dim light, the sight is not what you should engage the most. We need an atmosphere of both intimacy and curiosity. You can prefer to sit in front of the mirror, so you can conduct an interview. Just think of your reflection in the mirror as if it were some interesting new person you really want to get to know. It is the person you want to take care of. Do not judge, just let the person tell you about her/his/its dreams, feelings and needs.
Ask: „What do you like“? „How do you really feel“? „Is there something I could do for you?“ Just keep asking anything you want. Try to feel compassion. Give yourself the freedom to express.
After asking various questions, contemplate a bit about what you have realized. Maybe you start rediscovering some of your traits. You can be unsettled by how much do you actually supress and try to avoid some of your behaviour, thoughts, feelings… You can be surprised. Just allow yourself to feel genuinely.
Then, if you already have some patron deity or deities, call them, greet them and show them your authentic being. Don‘t be afraid to ask them if they could take care of you, because you need it. Ask for protection and ask what you can do for them. Ask how you can grow stronger together.
If you don‘t have any patron deity, you can use your contemplative state of mind and think what kind of patron deity you would like to get to know. Do you feel connection to some particular culture? What kind of energy you need to heal? Let synchronicity in. Trust yourself. You deserve to be cared of, like anybody else. Not because you are too weak, but because there is such joy in sharing and because we mind.
It is of great benefit to make an altar, a place for relaxation and contemplation, and to practice daily. Just sit there and express what you feel, let your heart speak. Ask what you can do. Ask what you can do to make people around you happier. To make animals, plants, stones, spirits happier. Don‘t hide your fears. Don‘t think you are worth less because you fear something. But don‘t try to make excuses. Be honest. And know you will always get what you are willing to give. Be humble, but not humiliated. Be caring, but don‘t let anybody to drain you. Honour your powers and honour the powers of others, be it people or gods or spirits.
Without the circle of life, there is no meaning. Without feeling, there is no circle of life.
2 thoughts on “Of Minds and Mirrors”
What I saw in the mirror was a woman with no spark and little will to live. It’s a horrible sight and actually makes me want to slap her up her face… or deliver that kick in the butt. I guess that’s what quite a few people might feel like. But… she is exhausted and overwhelmed and the last thing she needs is being critisized and judged, being told what to do, how to do it, how to do it differently or better, where she’s still going wrong and why t* f* she doesn’t start living already. What she needs is someone who allows her to be exhausted and overwhelmed, to be sad and cry and mourn all those years she spent as dead as she could be while still living. She wants her grief and exhaustion to ne quietly avknowledged. To be cradled in loving arms and just be allowed to rest. Yes dearest, I see your pain. Rest now, rest. It’s okay to be tired. It’s not your fault. It was never your fault. Rest now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well said…I enjoy your writing look forward to reading what comes next!